Tonight, I feel so low. Almost completely empty as if I'm not even a person, yet I have this horrible heartache in a sudden. I feel stuck. I don't even understand how the physical pain comes on and off. Sometimes, I just can hardly bear with it. Something bothered me. I wonder why I must feel it that way.
Today I cried, but only for a little while. I convinced myself to ignore all those evil thoughts and be steadfast in repeating Syahadah every time I get into that evil thoughts followed by 'Astaghfirullah'. I will practiced more often to be steadfast with solat, fast and recite the Quran every day to understand it in the right perspective. And hopefully with this practice, these evil thoughts will vanish from my mind forever.
Kita manusia. Kadang lemah. Kadang pelupa. Kadang senang sangat digoda.
Astaghfirullah for my mistake, Ya Allah.